Jim’s Blog

Ralph, me ol’ shipmate: [01/05 – geddit?]

An urgent message from Cap’n Birdseye (aka Grandpa Jim) for onward transmission to the ship’s doctor (aka your Dad)

The long and the short of it, Ralph lad, is that Cap’n’s got a really sore foot. The trouble seemed to start in the early hours of last Friday morning after that visit to Lille to see those maniac cyclists in their Tour de France. The sun was well over the yardarm and was a-blazin’ down like it was the Sahara Desert which, some say, it will be one day quite soon, if we don’t all mend our ways and turn green or summat – like Martians? Landlubbers at St Albans and here in Vasco da Gama-land have been pumping in all sorts of mixtures but to little effect. However, a Farma here mentioned some stuff called “colchicine” but it might cost a few ducats. Does the Doctor think it would be any use and, in any case, would it be more in keepin’ with our calling as pirates to wait until we’re in home waters and then gie the NHS Trusty Spenthrift a fine broad-side?

Well that’s about the size of it, Ralph-lad. I’m planning, a cruise to northern waters next week – to Iceland (or was it Tescos? I’ll have t’ check me charts) so I’m not sure when I’ll be seein’ you next. Talking of Dogs, I’m thinking, o, bringing some Algave Waters Dogs home and shippin’ some greyhounds – or better still, whippets [ that’s not Inspector Morse for cat-burglars or others knickers, by the way!]. Make sure this message gets through to the Doc(k), now and don’t go pickin’ up no “black spots” yerself.

Ye’r a good lad, young shaver. Regards to the part-time deck hand and general factota.

See you on the meridian. Keep a sharp look-out for Hawke’s men.

Long Jim Grandpa (aka Portuguese Man-o-War).

Portimao, Algave (off Cape St Vincent – no sign of Nelson but Drake is in his hammock and a thousand miles away. [Thinks: I must have drunk too much C*-water].

PS. Note from cabin boy: CB’s European Health Insurance Card (ID no 80826 00001 01 0095 0238, expiry date 01/02/2009 – thought these cards last for ever!) was found to have expired. Must get it renewed and a photocopy sent to the hospital in Portimao – otherwise EUR 108 fine plus possible incarseration [sic], next time a foot (305mm) is set in Portugal – with or without GOUT! Can GF help?

At said hospital, Capt’n was given injection [DeclogeN?ac] in bum then drip-feed [Tramal] to wrist. He was already taking Ibuprofen so had temporarily stopped that other stuff. As he did not know what Tramal was, he stopped all other medication (Amplodipine 5 mg + Ramipril 10 mg – both for BP). Was this necessary? He has now resumed Ibroprofen as his foot is no better. What does Doc think of Colchicine?

PPS. Cheque is in the Mail Packet.

PPPS. C* = cerveca – mostly.

PPPPS. Cap’n’s scannin’ every seagull and beach-bottle for your reply.

PPPPPS runnin’ out of ‘s and also P’s.

(Jolly) Roger, Over (or should it be Down?) and Out. Grandpa (Capt’n) Jim.

Monday 19/JUL/10: 23:15h

1) I was asked today if I was still writing my “blog”. Had I not moved on to “Facebook” or similar. I now realise that this was probably because I have hardly posted anything since I opened this BLOG in JAN 2007! Honestly, this has not been because I have been doing nothing of interest. In fact, the reverse is probably true. So, I will pick up my mouse once again and make a new start. That is what “journal-ism is all about – making notes throughout the day then editing them into some sort of sequence by the next day, at the latest. Further polishing, into an “article” would take more time so would probably necessitate a spell in a monastery, hospital or (expensive!) health farm. Tonight therefore I will simply list a) some of the things I have done today, b) some references to other issues which have occurred in the recent and more distant past and c) some thoughts which have been provoked by these two lists.

2) [b) seems to come before a) as well as after it!] 2 weeks ago, I went to Lille/Valenciennes to see something of the Tour de France (5-7 July). I concluded that it was more like the Charade de France but perhaps the real business takes place elsewhere, in the mountains and near the finish rather than in the opening Etapes. Not realising the power of the sun, I suffered severe dehydration. This was compounded by a not totally insignificant intake of biere (at 5% abv) and consumption of moderate B.P. tablets which are, of course, diuretics. The upshot was that my left foot ballooned with what my middle son delighted in informing me was gout! I had just agree to go to the Algarve with my wife for a week (it was all her tight schedule could permit) so I carted myself off to St Albans Hospital where there is a “call-in” centre (but no longer any A & E). I was pronounced fit to travel, having expressed a wish to do so!). In Portimao (Algarve) I spent most of the week in modest agony (including suffering a dripfeed to my wrist artery at the local infirmary), feeling obliged to try to enjoy myself. [Better move on to a0 or I’ll never get to bed by midnight!)

3) [a} This morning, I went to 10.00 am Mass to catch up for missing on Sunday (yesterday). I also went to Mass, in Portimao) on Saturday to catch up for missing last Sunday when I was travelling early morning from Luton Airport (luv’). I called the GP surgery and was rewarded by a call from one of the (dozen or more?) doctors there. On explaining my symptoms I was asked to go to their) surgery at (high) noon. It was decided to send me for a Blood Test so my wife kindly took me to the Gen Hosp. I decided to seriously start losing weight so we had a salad for lunch. I spent most of the pm in bed after learning that the Egyptian Ministries of Defence/Foreign Affairs/Etc had approved my inclusion in a team to accompany medical supplies to Gaza. Due to various delays and the start of Ramadan (mid August), this is now more likely to take place during the second half of Sept rather that late July, as originally intended. I later checked the progress of the EUR (against the GBP): it has made uplost ground to 84.5p. I also inquired about the availability of suitable ships in the Eastern Med. As there seem to be some difficulty arranging shipment across the E. Med (N to S). I spoke to my middle son who, as usual thinks I am not to be encouraged. My eldest son at least gave a hearing to my Idea to buy an old property in the Algarve – to set up a real-ale bar with nothing over 4.0% abv. He would have to do most of the work. I had spotted an old place which included a chapel – so we could bury the realy hard cases, on the spot. My youngest son came round after dinner and we watched our holiday video (see Rab C. Nesbitt, first series “Holiday”). My daughter (and doctor – kidney specialist – that could be useful!) was uncontactable. I think her phone knows when it’s me calling. She probably feels that her son needs protection against the influence of Grandpa Jim. Had a mild difference of opinion with my wife – can’t remember what it was about – and have now retired to bed.

4) The county’s in a mess: Europe’s in a mess, UK’s in a mess: St Albans’s is a mess. Israel is in a mess even after they habve milked Germany, USA and the UK (plus just about everybody else) for all they’re worth. Well, tell me who else has benefited from the slaughter of a million Iraqis?

5) It has now sneaked past midnight so I think I’ve made a decent effort (approx 1 hour) Tune in tomorrow evening to see what excuses I can find for not keeping it up!

Footnote: Was it Voroshilov or Zukhov whose motto was “ Train Hard, Fight Easy”? Well, I can’t remember how to access my BLOG. I’ll have to call Linda in the morning. G’night. Jim.