BLOG Wednesday, 21 July 2010
Ralph, me ol’ shipmate: [01/05 – geddit?]
An urgent message from Cap’n Birdseye (aka Grandpa Jim) for onward transmission to the ship’s doctor (aka your Dad)
The long and the short of it, Ralph lad, is that Cap’n’s got a really sore foot. The trouble seemed to start in the early hours of last Friday morning after that visit to Lille to see those maniac cyclists in their Tour de France. The sun was well over the yardarm and was a-blazin’ down like it was the Sahara Desert which, some say, it will be one day quite soon, if we don’t all mend our ways and turn green or summat – like Martians? Landlubbers at St Albans and here in Vasco da Gama-land have been pumping in all sorts of mixtures but to little effect. However, a Farma here mentioned some stuff called “colchicine” but it might cost a few ducats. Does the Doctor think it would be any use and, in any case, would it be more in keepin’ with our calling as pirates to wait until we’re in home waters and then gie the NHS Trusty Spenthrift a fine broad-side?
Well that’s about the size of it, Ralph-lad. I’m planning, a cruise to northern waters next week – to Iceland (or was it Tescos? I’ll have t’ check me charts) so I’m not sure when I’ll be seein’ you next. Talking of Dogs, I’m thinking, o, bringing some Algave Waters Dogs home and shippin’ some greyhounds – or better still, whippets [ that’s not Inspector Morse for cat-burglars or others knickers, by the way!]. Make sure this message gets through to the Doc(k), now and don’t go pickin’ up no “black spots” yerself.
Ye’r a good lad, young shaver. Regards to the part-time deck hand and general factota.
See you on the meridian. Keep a sharp look-out for Hawke’s men.
Long Jim Grandpa (aka Portuguese Man-o-War).
Portimao, Algave (off Cape St Vincent – no sign of Nelson but Drake is in his hammock and a thousand miles away. [Thinks: I must have drunk too much C*-water].
PS. Note from cabin boy: CB’s European Health Insurance Card (ID no 80826 00001 01 0095 0238, expiry date 01/02/2009 – thought these cards last for ever!) was found to have expired. Must get it renewed and a photocopy sent to the hospital in Portimao – otherwise EUR 108 fine plus possible incarseration [sic], next time a foot (305mm) is set in Portugal – with or without GOUT! Can GF help?
At said hospital, Capt’n was given injection [DeclogeN?ac] in bum then drip-feed [Tramal] to wrist. He was already taking Ibuprofen so had temporarily stopped that other stuff. As he did not know what Tramal was, he stopped all other medication (Amplodipine 5 mg + Ramipril 10 mg – both for BP). Was this necessary? He has now resumed Ibroprofen as his foot is no better. What does Doc think of Colchicine?
PPS. Cheque is in the Mail Packet.
PPPS. C* = cerveca – mostly.
PPPPS. Cap’n’s scannin’ every seagull and beach-bottle for your reply.
PPPPPS runnin’ out of ‘s and also P’s.
(Jolly) Roger, Over (or should it be Down?) and Out. Grandpa (Capt’n) Jim.